7 Fists Of Fury
Things To Do Before I’m 30.
Jan 14th
So, here I am, pondering my life again, deeply thinking about a lot of things that have happened recently and over the past few months, most of which are a great fuck up.I have decided to make a list of things that I want to achieve as soon as I can, preferably before I turn 30.
1) Myself and two friends are in the process of starting up a business, I have high hopes for it, it has so much potential to be successful and leave a mark, which I really want to happen. I know shit doesn’t happen over night, but I really want to work hard at this and make it happen.
2) Lose some weight, I know I said this is so cliché in a previous post, but fuck it, I need to lose a few, maybe that’s where some of my complex comes from from being tall. This will happen, soon.
3) Build my perfect house, I have it all planned out, it will be awesome. The garage especially, I might be setting my hopes a tad high here, especially if I want all this before I’m 30, but hey, what are dreams if they’re only mediocre? The house will be big, I’m not talking standard height doors and ceiling, oh no, fuck that, I’m huge, so want a huge house. The garage, this will be my pride and joy, I want to have it attached to the entertainment area / lounge with a glass wall. Picture this, three revolving stands, the middle one with a super hot, fuck off fast motor bike, which I won’t be riding, that’s just for show, then on either side of that, My everyday driving car, like a Lumina SS or a Shelby GT500, and on the other side, my race car, one that has been tweeked to perfection. All this complete with spot lights.
4) Holiday to exotic places, often. I am 25 and have never been out of South Africa. I want to see the world, sit on the beaches that you see in brochures, palm trees and all. I want to see the Eiffel Tower, Dubai, probably all the Asian countries and definitely Russia, just off the top of my head.
5) Do more crazy outrageous things, things that would probably make me shit myself and make my life flash before my eyes, which would probably be a lot of things, since I’m such a girl. I was thinking about adding bungee jumping to this, but.. after just watching a video on youtube where the cord came off the guys feet and he face planted into a dam, I think I’m gonna scratch that one off.
6) Take up a hobby and stick to it, properly. The last hobby I had was World Of Warcraft, which, I’m not going to lie, I enjoyed thoroughly, but it just got too much. I was a giant hobbit, didn’t move from my PC at all over weekends, and when I really had to go out and be sociable, I didn’t enjoy it most of the time. I’m really not sure what I’d like to do though, but definitely something that’s interactive and fun.. like.. World Of Warcraft.. Fuck. I need some ideas 
7) Leave my mark, something I, and other people can look back on for a long time to come, dunno though, maybe punch someone really famous in the face, or get involved in a high speed pursuit, kill a shark with my bare hands, balance 400 glasses on my head, I’ll have to think about this one. Preferably something that won’t get me locked up and sodomised on a daily basis.
8 ) Marriage and kids, It’s weird how times have changed, back in the day, people were married and pushing out babies by the age of 18, which is cool, if you’re financially stable and know that you’re going to spend the rest of your life with that person. I don’t want to be the 50 odd year old taking his kids to school though.
9) I said in a previous post that I want to cut down on smoking, which I really do, but also eventually stop, I’m tired of coughing up lungs, spending metric fucktons of money each month on smokes and getting winded easily.
10) Take up dancing, a few of you who really know me, know I don’t dance, ever, I don’t even remember the last time I danced, even when I was by myself. I have two left feet, and they’re big feet at that, its just never been my thing, but I reckon learning some cool latin / salsa etc would be a blast, also, I wouldn’t be the weird guy sitting at the bar or table just watching
The End.
Another Rant.
Jan 12th
Yes kids, it’s that time again, where I get my jollies off by bitching and moaning about the retard-idly stupid things I’ve seen people do. If you’re sensitive to swearing, religion or just don’t have plain logic, don’t read this, leave now, go!
First, I want to start off by saying that if you’re the type of person who has status messages on Facebook that are indirectly aimed at someone you hate, like, love, lust, you’re a jackass, no one gives a shit. Tell that person flat out what you think about them, if it’s bad, don’t do it on Facebook, no one wants to see your petty squabbles about that guy who didn’t call you back, or that girl who doesn’t like giving head. Fuck sakes.
Religion, touchy subject for some, but this is my blog, so I don’t give a shit, Like I said before, if you’re sensitive about stuff like this and are going to bitch and leave bible punching comments, leave now. I have noticed so many status messages about “If you love Jesus and go to church four times a week, repost this” or “73% of people won’t repost this message, if you love God, you will!” Blah blah blah, it’s annoying.
Now for me to really get my rant on.
How fucking dumb do you have to be, to actually believe that if you join this group “Get *yor* free laptop now with free shipping *guarenteed*” That you will actually get a free fucking laptop? Not only is Facebook advertising to all your friends bad enough, no, you will still send out invites to every single one of your friends, showing them what a complete toss you are! Why the fuck not? You’re getting a free laptop after all!
The next fantastic group I saw people joining in the masses was “Know who is viewing your profile 24/7″ Now, after you join the group and read their pathetic instructions on how they will ONLY send you a link to the application once 50% of your friends have joined, surely that’s enough to tell it’s not legit? No? Okay, you believe them, so you send invites out to all your friends, advertise the group on your status message and try to get as many people to join as you can. Instead of doing that, why not read some of the thousands of posts on the groups wall, where almost everyone is saying it is a scam and doesn’t work? Cause you’re too damn busy reading other people’s religious status messages and wondering when you’re going to get your free laptop. It’s just a fucking ploy to get as many people to join the group, that’s it.
Facebook Quizzes, Oh my fuck! Sure they might be fun to do, by yourself, I don’t, and I don’t think anyone else gives a flying fuck which smurf you are, what age you’re going to die at, how you’re going to die, if you’re going to have a faithful marriage, how many fucking kids you’re going to have, what your best sexual position is or what fucking car you’d transform into if you could. It’s fucking annoying.
The end.
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The Durban One Day Road Trip.
Jan 2nd
So, it started out like this, New Years evening myself and a few mates were driving around, setting off fireworks, looking for fireworks displays, causing mayhem and beating up little kids for their pocket money, when it dawned on me that we should take a drive down to Durban, pee in the sea, have a beer and then fuck off back home the same day, I was keen, Nick was Keen, Vito wasn’t too keen, “It was too late to drive down” Anyhoo, we went back home and continued abusing the copious amounts of alcahol, intravenus drugs and unprotected sex untill 5am that morning, when all of a sudden, everyone was keen to go to Durban.. except for me, IT WAS LATE! After discussing it for a 30 min we eventually all just went to bed. We woke up at around 2 that afternoon, place a mess, strippers lying on the floor, dirty needles all over the place, wondering what we were going to do for the rest of the day, when Durban was brought up again, we all looked at each other, smilled, and agreed to go. We all jumped up, changing clothes, grabbing our smokes, putting on shoes, kicking the drunk strippers out the house, gathering all the key items we needed for out road trip. Nick was running around screaming looking for his TomTom, cause he didn’t want us to get lost.. pfft. So eventually we hit the road just after 3pm, I zeroed the clocks on my car and we were on our way.
The trip down was great, we were all excited, every 10 kays or so I’d scream out in a little girly voice that we were that much further into our journey, we played the normal car games, you know, 99 bottles of beer, throwing trash out the car at pedestrians, swerving into on coming traffic, singing kumbaya etc etc, then it started raining, not just any normal rain, it was pissing down in buckets, aquaplaining every few minutes, mounting pavements cause I couldn’t see the road, it was like some greater force was trying to tell us to turn around and go home. We didn’t though, we persisted through the storm and finally it cleared! Clear skies and great views!
My phone was on charge the whole way down, which made for interesting photo taking (will get to that later) Driving and taking pictures of mountains, cars, hot woman in cars, Vito half asleep smelling like stripper in the back seat was a challenge, but I pulled it off. We were making pretty good time ’cause the roads were quiet and stopped off in Harrysmith for petrol and snacks, I would have prefered to of carried on going, but the other two whiney bitches wanted to stop, so we did. We were there for probably 15 min or so, when we left again, I said to them, “Do you know how much time we’ve just lost cause we stopped” Nick, the fucker that he is, calmly and sarcastically said “About 15 minutes?”
Just before Maritzburg we hit some more rain, nothing hectic, just enough to piss me off and make us drive slowly, cause I really love those windy roads leading into Maritzburg! We got into Durban central about an hour later, at about 8.30 pm or so.. I think we were all thinking what a huge mistake we had made, I’m not exagerating when I say there were 3 million people walking the streets in Durban, it was chaos, most of the streets were closed, police everywhere, drunk people stumbling all over the place, it looked like a shit hole, it was so dirty, horrible. After seeing that, we decided to stay well away from there, and went off to Umhlanga Rocks, found a semi quiet beach, parked the car and went for a walk, it was amazing, I had forgotten what it sounded and smelled like, the sand between your toes and how, if you just sit down and relax, how calm it can make you feel, we sat there for 2 hours, barely speaking to each other, just looking at the ocean and its awesomeness. Made me think about a lot of things actually, some good, some bad, some depro.
We left for JHB after 10 oclock sometime, I’m not to sure, stopping for some steers and to stock up on petrol and juice, the drive back wasn’t too bad, we were all pretty much in shock that we actually drove to durban just to fuck around for a little bit then leave. It was a great evening! Thank you to my boys and to everyone in Durban that offered up a place to stay, food / drinks and sexual favors!
Here’s a couple of pics from the drive down.
The God awful rain.
Sticking to the speed limit.
A few Random pics of myself, Nick, Vito and the view.
This pic was at a Caltex garage, somewhere, I can’t remember where, we stopped to fill up, and I wanted to try get our drinks and what not Drive Through style, but they wouldn’t let my car into the shop.
So, 1109 kilometers later, we were home, tired, yet still amped from what we had done, I will do it again in a heartbeat, any day!
The end.
PWND!
Dec 29th
So, this was a chat I had with Paul
Paul: lol my gf is trynna make me type kisses to you
Richard: Thats not to bad, we have done worse, have you told her the stories of us?
Paul: oh you mean the thing with Sheena?
Richard: No, I mean US, don’t pretend it never happenrf
happened
That night was special
It meant a lot to me
You’re so gentle, and the song you sang to me afterwards almost made me cry
Paul: dude, im sleeping on the couch tonight 
Richard: Richard 1, Paul 0
The end.
New Years Resolutions.
Dec 29th
So, I’m not really into this whole resolution thing, don’t really know why, maybe it’s cause I’m lazy, maybe cause it’s just another day / year, however you look at it, it has never really bothered me. So I thought I would give it a bash, and see how much shit I could come up with and actually achieve at the same time. Here goes.
1) Fuck sakes. Been sitting here staring at my screen for 30 min, maybe my first one should be “Wake up and realize what I want”
2) As much as it bugs me, get over the whole being tall issue and people commenting and staring..
3) Is this cliche? Weight loss? Oh well, we will see.
4) Be able to buy my dream car, hold on to your seats! I’ve set my standards high for this one, A Chevi Lumina SS! BAM! That’s all I want out of a car, I’d beat a rabi to death with a pork chop for one of those.
6) Cut down on my smoking, not quit, just cut down.
7) Blog more.
8 ) Switch to Coke Lite instead of regular.
9) Lean Learn how to count.
10) Learn how to spell.
11) Get a particular business up and running, make it work, make it successfull, live the life I want to. (That counts as 4)
15) Start going to gym.. That’s a tough one. Will have to really think about it.
16) Cut down on the junk food.. But how junk is it really? I mean, meat, GOOD! Lettuce, GOOD! Tomato, GOOD! MC D’s can’t be all that bad, right?
17) Start driving like regular folk, I love speed but don’t get me wrong, I don’t drive like an idiot during heavy traffic or where little kids are playing in the street, most days.
18) Get into a healthy sleep routine, 4 – 5 hours a day can’t be good for you.
19) Stop procrastinating, it’s always easier to do shit the next day / week / never. I’m sure future me hates me for doing it.
20) Take time to chill out, sit outside, smell the roses and enjoy the simple things and stop taking most things for granted. (That’s another five)
25) I’m bored of this. Good night.
The End
Dislike Button For Facebook.
Dec 17th
There is FINALLY a dislike button for Facebook, albeit a little buggy as it not made by Facebook.
It works with FireFox and you can find it here. Enjoy.
Technology
Dec 5th
So, yesterday I installed Windows Mobile 6.5 on my HTC and decided to finally go rummaging through Google to look for some decent applications and cool things I could use the accelerometer for. Now I’ve probably been under a rock for the past couple of months because I haven’t seen anything like this before, I was so amazed at how far we have come regarding mobile phone technology, here’s a few cool things I picked up.
Firstly, my favourite – It’s a QRcode barcode link, you need an app to use it first, you can find it here – I went with I-nigma barcode reader… Because it’s awesome and it’s the first one I found you run this app, then when ever you see the special barcode thingy online / magazine, just point your phone at it and it automatically scans it, and takes you direct to the download link, it is so fucking awesome I’ve been downloading crap just to use it.
One of the awesome apps I downloaded from it was HDboobs .. It’s a pair of boobies on your phone that you can shake around! If you already know about all this and already have a barcode reader, you can find the download link here:
Awesome right? Another cool app I found was ShakeAndSave, have this program running in the backround and shake your phone no matter what program you’re running and it will take a screen shot of it and save it as a Jpeg, Png, BMP or Gif. Here’s a Twitpic of.. well Twitter that I took a screen shot of! 
Another awesome thing I came across with WM 6.5 was Microsoft my phone. It enables you to sync / backup everything on your phone on the go, where ever you are, you have a limit of 200 megs, which is a decent amount if it’s a couple of sms’s / contacts or pics you’d like to backup. It took me a couple of minutes to create an account through my phone, and wasn’t long to upload a couple of pictures and 200+ contacts and sms’s.
I saw something on TV a few months back that in the not so far off future, you’ll be able to use facial recognition software on your phone, take a pic of someone random and it will pull up as much information as it can about that person as well as popular social networking sites, that’s a bit creepy if you ask me, but what a good way to find out something about someone that you’re eyeing up in club? “Hey! My names frank and I LOVE dancing and riding camels in the desert!”
Anywho, I’m off to put on a long coat and jump around my room, swinging my new lightsabre phone around.
The End.
The Past Month.
Nov 23rd
So, I’ve been out of a job for the past month or so, as much as I *love* sitting around at home doing nothing all day, I don’t, I hate it, it sometimes drives me to the point where I’m so bored, I irritate myself, and get angry ’cause I have nothing to do. I’ve sent my CV out to a bunch of places already, but I think it is a really shitty time of the year to be looking for work. Fuck. I went for an interview last week at an insurance company in Sandton, What a waste of time, I firstly had to fill out these stupid forms while sitting on a stupid couch chair thingy, that was so low to the ground my knees where behind my fucking head. This form was so pointless, I had to finish off sentences like “My family…” and “I get angry when…” etc etc, I get angry when I have to fill out pointless forms like this while sitting on your stupid tiny chair, It looks like I’m in some cheap porno and I’m waiting to get reamed by the tiny Chinese dude running around giving everyone massages. I kid you not, they call him Mister Miyagi, he is there as an incentive.. Anyhoo, after that I went through to Rebecca’s work and we had lunch together, that was nice, then got stuck in God awful traffic on the way home.
Traffic, OH MY FUCK, who ever is in charge in fixing up the roads for 2010 is a complete toss. Let me start by telling you about Great North, a road I drove every day for about 5 years to and from work, it was the best road ever, 2 lanes going each way, from Benoni all the way into Kempton Park, I have so many fond memories of that road, Craig and I driving down that road next to each other, in peak traffic, doing 40 kays an hour, pissing everyone off, plenty of races down that road too. Then, last year December someone thought it would be a great idea to change the two lanes into three lanes, they worked on the third lane for months and months, until finally, they opened it, it looked so smooth, so awesome, I doubt I will ever forget the first day I got to test the new lane out, not because it was a great drive, and there was less traffic, oh no, not with the cunts that built that road, at one point, I actually thought I was going to roll my car it was so bumpy. I hate that lane now, and I never drive in it, but that’s not the end, they weren’t happy with just fucking up one lane, over the next few months they thought it would be a good idea to fuck up the other two lanes too, I don’t know why they thought it was necessary, the third lane joined just fine, there wasn’t a pavement you had to climb to get on or off it.
The Highway, grrr! What the fuck is the point in closing off two lanes of highway for 10 kays, if you’re not going to be doing ANY fucking work there? It took me over three fucking hours to drive 69 kays on Saturday, the highway under William Nicol was closed for road works too, so 40 million cars were crammed into 2 lanes on the offramp, where the robots were not working. There was, I’m sure, very *qualified* people directing traffic, but not really, I saw two accidents almost happen because the assholes were just waving their arms around like retards. If you’re going to be doing roadworks for months and months, at least hire people that are actually qualified to do it.
I just realised I left my toothbrush at Rebecca’s house this morning, fuck, now I have to use a R2 one that is more than likely going to make me bleed. Also, I’m smoking the cheapest smokes ever, if I ever had to guess what shit tasted like, this would be it. I also threw my cousin into the swimming pool today, fully dressed, that made me chuckle, he is such a good sport when it comes to things like that.
Now, here’s a question for you, if you had R100k to start up a business, what would you do? I know it’s not a lot, but I’ve been thinking about it for a while now, I reckon a brothel would be great for 2010, but then again, how long is that going to last? Heh. I honestly have no idea. Suggestions people!
I’ve been meaning to blog for the past 2 weeks, have had so many ideas, but now, I don’t, most of them went flying out the window the minute I sat down, so, what ever.
The End. *lick*
Autopage Contract.
Nov 6th
So, a few days ago I called Autopage to find out about cancelling one of my contracts, I just renewed it about 2 or 3 months ago, and being jobless and all, I thought it would be a good idea to do so. HAH! This is the exact email I got back from Autopage.
Good morning Mr Coote
With regards to your query on cancellation,the cellphone contract of 083650*78* only expires on the 22-12-2011.
The contract can only be cancelled once the term expires & a months notice period has to be given.
If you want to cancel the contract immediately, a settlement amount has to be paid to cancel.
The settlement amount is R 28 452.54 (Incl).
NB:Pls note that the above amount excludes unbilled calls & balances.
Kind regards
Dion Govender
The end.
My joy with CV’s.
Oct 23rd
So, for the past two days, I’ve been going through a wad of CV’s for upcoming work regarding a certain cellular network. We have really had lots of them sent through, and I’ve actually been quite disappointed with most of them. In my eyes, your CV is supposed to be at least one thing you really take pride in, making it look good, making sure there are no spelling mistakes, being positive about yourself and previous employment. Not a fuck. Out of the pile that I have, I’ve set three aside.
Here are a few things that really put me off the others.
The first one that came through looked OK, with the pretty font that she used to type Curriculum Vitae, then I turned the page and started reading. First line? “Personall Data” Lets look past that one shall we. Three lines down, “Martial status – Singel” <— I shit you not. Two lines down, “Drivers Licence” Her home language is English, and she spells “better” – “Beter” She is a hard worker, well disiplined and believes through hard work you can achieve sucess.
The next one, everything on the first two pages was great, no spelling mistakes, until the “More about me” section came, this is it, word for word – “generel strenghts: im hard working responsible disciplined self motivated like to encourage team work and people orintated” No punctuation what_so_fucking_ever. Looks like the whole CV was copied and she just added in the last bit herself.
The next one. I’m just going to point out spelling mistakes on this two page CV. Personell, curiculum, home adress, cellphons, ocupation, school atended, work experiance, possition held, refferances.
This one, I didn’t actually read, I binned it after reading “Ciriculum Vtae” So, for shits and giggles, I went digging in the bin this morning to have another look at it.. It should have stayed there, I got my hands grubby for nothing. Titel, surnam, dependants, standerd, instittution, coarse (as in course) liquedated.
On of the CV’s that irritated me the most was the negativity in it, reasons for leaving his previous job was “I didn’t like my boss and we didn’t get along with each other” It might just be me, but, I would never put something like that on my CV, ever, what do you think?
There are a few others, but I’m not going through them again just to point out bad grammar. Someone on Twitter put forward a good point, and asked what would happen if the CV’s were in the persons first language? I’m not trying to be racist in this post in anyway, I know what you’re trying to say, but still, is it so hard to use a spell checker? And read through what ever bullshit you have written before you send it out, better yet, read the entire thing backwards, I find that helps so much more for picking out spelling mistakes, or if you’re too lazy to do that, have someone else proof read it for you.
Like I said in a previous post, if you’re writing a letter to someone, at least put some effort into it. A CV? Put even more effort into it, sell yourself, make who ever is reading it want to meet and interview you! Out of all the CV’s that came in yesterday, I’m only putting three of them forward.
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