So, Just a few, whether they’re good memories or bad ones, I will never forget them.

Craig somehow, after a very, very drunk night partying away at various different night clubs in Boksburg, managed to get his tongue pierced in the early hours of the morning. Now, this had to have been some dodge back alley piercing, I mean, who the fuck has a piercing shop open after 1am on a Friday night? I don’t remember much from that night, but from what I can recall, Craig drunkenly said he wanted to go to a garage and get some chow, that was the last we saw of him that night, the next day I was sitting at East Rand Mall with a mate having a hangover breakfast of note, when Craig walked past and came in to say howzit, it was more of a howthit though. He didn’t remember who / why or how it happened, but he had it done, and still has it.

Meeting @Shebeegee For the first time. We had been speaking on Twitter for ages, while she was still up in Dirtbin, and had agreed to drinks when she was up here in Jozi. The night finally came for the meet. Firstly, it took me almost 2 hours to get from Benoni to her pad, near Haarties, simply ’cause she is kak with directions. That aside, the evening went well, we got along fine, she wasn’t a crazy person who wanted to chop me up into little pieces and feed me to the farm animals. At the end of the night when I was going to leave, we discovered that I was parked in.. Being the crazy chick that she is, Sheena broke into the neighbours house through their bedroom window, while they were sleeping, took the car keys off their fucking bedside table, while they were sleeping, and snuck out. I still reckon she should have fucked with them a little bit, left a note, took a photo, moved stuff around or even climbed into bed with them. She moved their car and I was on my way.

One night we were at Tequila Rock, a club in Boksburg. As usual, we were all pretty much pissed. With me, most of the time when I get drink, I get louder, and talk with my hands, well, that night I was speaking loudly, and hit some poor blokes drink into his mouth while he was taking a sip. If you know me, you’ll know I don’t really like fighting, so being the gentle giant I am, wanted to talk my way out of a confrontation, which in the beginning didn’t work out to well, for one I was really drunk, so most of the kak that was coming out of my mouth probably didn’t make sense, and the other thing, it was pigs night, free drinks, and I told the guy to calm down and let me buy him a drink. Oh well. When this happened, I was by myself, everyone was scattered around the club, and this guy was rambling off how he was going to fuck me up, next thing I know, everyone of my friends that were there, some how got that tingly feeling that something was wrong and all of sudden were standing behind me, we’re all big fellas, and there were allot of us. That was the end of that, I went and slept it off in the car.

Nicholas one night, also at Tequila Rock, got so so so SO fucking smashed he couldn’t walk properly, let alone talk. He decided he was going to sleep off his drunkardness in Craigs car. I don’t know how he planned on doing this because he didn’t have the keys to the car, but he was drunk, he knew what he was doing! So he found the nearest white Toyota Corolla and passed out on the bonnet. It wasn’t Craigs car.

Nicholas at his 16th Birthday. This is probably one the fondest memories I have of him. His mothers boss bought him a blow up doll as a joke. Nick was absolutely smashed, I remember walking around the side of the house to take a leak, and there was Nick, standing next to a tree, I still don’t know how he pulled this off, but he did, beer in one hand, Suzie snug under his arm, him taking a wizz.. That was a sight to see, but it wasn’t enough, oh no. While still holding the beer and Suzie, and his Peepee half hanging out his pants, he climbed over the wall and ran down the street screaming how drunk he was and that Suzie was his bitch, and that he was indeed going to fuck her that night. This was probably around 12 oclock at night, A few of the neighbours came outside to see what the commotion was about, I just stayed behind the wall, beer in hand, laughing my arse off.

The day my mother found out that I smoked. This is all my brothers fault, the bastard. It was years ago, I was still in high school and I owed him money for something. I didn’t have a job so relied on pocket money for everything, which wasn’t much. Anyways, we got into a decent argument about it, lots of yelling and stomping around the house, I said to him, “I will pay you, I just can’t afford to right now” His response? “You can’t afford to pay me but you can afford to fucking smoke” My heart skipped a beat, my jaw hit the floor and my mother came storming out of her room. I don’t think I have EVER felt so kak in my life before. It hurts so much more when parents pull the whole “I’m disappointed” card.

This is it for now, I will update this again at a later stage :P