So, here I am at work, pretty much pissed after a few castles / hunters and weird vodka shots that Craig made.

The drunken ramblings of me!

What if!

You Won the Lotto: I would go absolutely mental, if I didn’t die from shock, Sure I would spend a metric fuckton of money, pay off allot of peoples debt, buy myself a nice house, car, cool gadgets and toys I didn’t really need, but I’d also invest allot of it.

You woke up one morning and there was a pigs head next you: Once again, I’d probably go absolutely mental / bat shit crazy, scream like a little girl and piss myself. I’m not afraid to admit that, not at all, I mean, come on, how often does that happen? Just picture it, you wake up from your slumber after dreaming about Megan Fox, stretch, roll  over and BAM! Pigs head on your pillow! Chances that this happens are slim and none, but still, something to think about.

You Found out you’re a direct descendant of Jesus: Meh, cool.

You found naked pics of yourself online: I have thought about this often, I honestly don’t know what I’d do! I think it depends on the situation, I mean, If I looked all classy and stuff, and it was a pay per view site, I don’t think I’d mind, but if it was some trashy site with me hanging naked from a tree, I think I’d be a little pissed.

You accidentally killed a world leader / president / what ever: Lets just say you were involved in a car accident with someone like this, compared to them, you’re nothing, so of course you would be in a fuck load of trouble, it’s not like getting into an accident with some average Joe from Brakpan, killing him, and then going out for drinks with your mates a week later. Also, I haven’t given this allot of thought, for one, I’m a tad drunk, and secondly, it’s not something I think about every day. I’d try my best to prove it was an accident and hope to what ever power above, that the judge / jury understood that. Or, pack my shit up and run for the hills.

You could have ONE super hero power: The list is endless! I’d take something I could have allot of fun with, and I don’t mean flying around. Snore. I’d be invisible! And really fuck with people! Like whispering in their ear! Or touching them in funny places in a busy shop or something, that’s one of them. The other one I’m leaning towards is telepathic orgasms! How awesome would it be to give ANYONE, ANYWHERE an orgasm, just by thinking about it! An old lady in a bank? Your best friend who is about to propose to his loved one, our dumb shit president at his inauguration party! “I’d like thenk south efricaaaaaaaaAAAAAHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhh *squirt*

Moving on.

You were given a donkey: Snort, well, I don’t know, use it as a pack mule? Hire a midget for a day and make an awesome porno? Rent it out to people like @garsen and @unholyhole ? Spend countless hours training it and turning it evil, it would make an awesome guard donkey! Imagine it! Burglars are checking your place, they don’t see any dogs! Only a donkey… They scheem, KIEF! Lets do this! Jump over your wall and there’s this Eeyore looking donkey, munching away at his grass, farting, wagging his tail, then all of a sudden all hell breaks lose! This donkey is flying through the air, foaming at the mouth, giving the burglars a left handed flying slap kick with an iron hoof! No one would fuck with my donkey!